First They Killed My Father: A Daughter of Cambodia Remembers
Loung Ung
Harpercollins, 2000
240 pp.

I first heard about Loung from my co-worker who indicated that he saw her on television and that she was very articulate and well spoken. I was so proud and excited about a Cambodian success story that I could not even wait to get home and search for Loung myself. Immediately, I called a friend with excitement to ask if he knew anything about her. I even listened to a brief excerpt of Loung's interview on the Internet through my cell phone. I was amazed and felt so proud and could not wait to read her book. Finally, a Khmer author that could get some respect, I thought! I purchased Loung's book on September, 26th, 2000. This was no longer than one week after hearing about it and her appearance on television.
        My excitement over the book quickly waned after reading several chapters. Loung's comparison of her mom's beauty and the influent of her Chinese side caused me to stop reading and take a deep breath. After consuming the brief racial remarks that seemed like an eternity, I had to vent out my anger to my younger sister. It was apparent that Loung's conceit about her Chinese descent is extremely high and both self-serving and ignorant. As an ethnic Khmer, I felt betrayed and belittled by Loung. I could not understand why I should want to read further. I was very much afraid that the coming chapters of Loung's book would build more anger and frustration. I knew for years about the ignorance and racism that some ethnic Chinese had toward native Cambodians. This type of egocentric ideology is well documented in text written by Chinese explorers who travel to our land even back during the Angkorian period. Nevertheless, I never imagined reading a piece like this in modern times by a person who claimed to be a "daughter of Cambodia."
        My joy and pride over Loung was shattered. I did not know whether I should excuse her for her ignorance because of her upbringing, or to hate her for exploiting her experience in Cambodia. The title of her book, "a daughter of Cambodia remembers," is a complete slap in the face for all Cambodians, especially considering Loung is born to a very wealthy, privileged family, the kind that has always benefited from the exploitation of poor Khmers. There was nothing in the book to reassure me that Loung accepts any kind of Cambodian descent either. I cannot accuse Loung of lying about other facts in the book as other Cambodians have done because I do not know enough about Angkor Wat and other political issues, but I do know that even the first part of her title is misleading. In the book, Loung indicates that her sister, Keav, was the first in her family to be killed by the Khmer Rouge through starvation. Loung's father was not taken away until after Keav's death. I know this may seem minor to others, but why the title "First They Killed my Father" instead of "...My Sister". Is it because her father was a high-ranking official and she wanted to clear his name, or is it because this makes for a more sensational title? One portion of the book is particularly telling of her family's elite status and unsympathetic attitude toward native Cambodians. As the Khmer Rouge enter Phnom Penh, Loung's father speaks to her saying:

"They're not nice people. Look at their shoes-they wear sandals made from car tires." At five, I am oblivious to the events of war, yet I know Pa to be brilliant, and therefore he must be right. That he can tell what these soldiers are like merely by looking at their shoes tells me even more about his all-powerful knowledge. "Pa, Why the shoes? Why are they bad?" "It shows that these people are destroyers of things." I do not quite understand what Pa means. I only hope that someday I can be half as smart as he is."

Reviewed by Sopheap Keo
Sopheap is a certified social worker who encounters many victims of the Khmer Rouge atrocities in her profession and works to help restore stability to their home environment.

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